|
Graeme Meade
|
Handicap 7. Rookie year in 2005 and what a debut. Became the champion
at the first attempt marginally winning on a countback. Has
maintained his form and is the tours number 1 player after only three
years. Expect a handicap adjustment for next year!
|
|
Bob Reilly |
Handicap 9. Made his first appearance at Fraserburgh in 2000 and was
one of the early favourites until the 1st tee. He has a wonderful
short game...unfortunately it is off the tee. Could have been a real
contender in seasons 2001 - 2006 if he'd followed the advice from
Scottish Slimmers, but he misread the advice and followed the
'Aitkens' diet. Used to be known as 'Big Bob' but is now refered to
as 'Round Bob'. Has a habit of sharing the contents of his stomach
and is a 'scratch' spewer - he is the original member of the Rogues
Gallery. He achieved his ambition in 2007 by winning The Quaich at
Kinross and has risen up the rankings to number 2 on the tour.
|
|
Phil Sinclair |
Handicap 5. The 'King of Culter' is a two-time winner of the Quaich
winning the prestigious trophy at Turriff in 1999 and again in 2006
at Deer Park. Widely recognised as the man to beat, he has supported
this tournament since its fruition in 1996. It was during this glory
period when he was at his peak, not only winning the Quaich but
adding three Peterculter Club Championships to his list of honours.
Surprisingly has only been in the top 10 on 4 occasions, peaking at
number 1 in 2006. Tends to warm-up for the event in Southern Spain.
Currently ranked number 3 on the tour.
|
|
Nick McLeod |
Handicap 25. Another regular tour member who always looks the part
and talks a good game. Claims he does not like the game but has a
knack of performing well during the pressure of competition golf and
with a hangover. The best wood in his bag is still the pencil,
despite now weilding a 'Calloway' driver. Remarkably he has
consistently been in the top 10 over the last six years and has now
risen to number 4 in the tour.
|
|
Rod Phillips |
Handicap 14. Scratch drinker. Started the outings in 1996 to
celebrate his 30th birthday and has the unenviable tag of "Best
player to have never won a major". Currently ranked number 5 on
the tour.
|
|
Dod Gray
|
Handicap 12. An ever present member of the tour, who is desperate to
win the trophy. If he hits the ball right, it's a slice. If it goes
left, it's a hook. If it goes straight, it's a miracle. He's the
outing treasurer - ie the kitty organiser in charge of maintaining
the stock of beer and nips in the clubhouse, and for the carry-out
for the journey home. Improving form over the last couple of events
has raised his ranking to number 6 on the tour.
|
|
Steve McGrath
|
Handicap 8. Another stalwart of the tour having a 100% attendance
record. With a bit more practice could become a scratch drinker. He
is also a major sponsor of the outing. Overall, not a bad guy, even
though he is a supporter of the Sons of Satan. Another nearly man
consistantly in the top 4, but has missed out on the coveted number 1
spot three times. Another who's form is dipping since becoming a
father and he is now currently ranked 7th in the tour.
|
|
Nick Frost
|
Handicap 16. Rookie year in 2002 and Wee Frosty made a great
challenge for the trophy. Is using the Dunsmuir philosophy of 'buying
the best' to improve his game, which appears to be working.
Consistant player who has not finished out of the top three in the
last few years. He became the tours number 1 player in 2005 narrowly
missing out on the championship on a count-back. An enforced
extra-ordinary handicap committee meeting was held before the 2006
event to adjust this bandits' handicap! Entered the Rogues Gallery in
2006 but claimed it was Bobs fault that he spewed. Expecting a dip in
form now that he is married. Currently ranked number 8.
|
|
Stewart McBain
|
Handicap 6. Winner in his rookie year in 2001 at Strathmore Golf
Centre. He is still coming to terms with having to fill the Quaich
with Drambuie and watch everyone else drink the contents - it has
been suspected that he threw the tournament in 2002. Also known as
'Hubble' he was awarded a massive clothing sponsorship from Shore
Porters after winning in 2001. Another scratch drinker but a high
handicapper when it comes to style. Currently ranked 9 on the tour.
|
|
Rod Phillips Snr
|
Handicap 9. Former number 1 player on the tour and the first
'Two-Time' Winner, triumphing at Royal Tarlair in 1997, during the
monsoon outing when only five players completed the round, and at
Glenisla in 2002. Some golfers fantasize about playing a three-ball
with Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus - there are times when he'd
rather play with Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder. He is now an official
member of The 5th Major Senior Tour. Has never been out of the top 10
but has slipped to number 10 on the tour.
|
|
Iain Sellar
|
Handicap 16. Hits a good ball for one so small. The only man on the
tour with a sawn off putter. The fashion police have been after him
for years. Also known on the tour as The Hobbit or the Crazy Frog
(particularly when he's had a few). A couple of steady displays
elevated him to his highest ranking of number 9, but has resorted to
type over the last couple of years, currently ranked 11. Another
'scratch' spewer and a member of the Rogues Gallery.
|
|
Jim Wright
|
Handicap 18. Rookie year in 2005. A commendable performance after
admitting to be overawed in the drinking prowess of the seasoned tour
members. Witnesses suggest that he wastes alot of great shots on the
practise swing. A top sponsor of the event and is currently ranked 12
on the tour.
|
|
Ian Trotter
|
Handicap 28. The drunkest man at Strathmore 2001. Has always wondered
how he got back to his hotel room. He once went for a lesson and the
reason the golf pro told him to keep his head down was so Ian
couldn't see him laughing. Winner of the 1st putting competition at
Fraserburgh in 1999. He is now an official member of The 5th Major
Senior Tour. Currently ranked 13 on the tour.
|
|
George Christie
|
Handicap 13. Rookie year in 2006 at Deer Park. Showed his age when he
graced the 'New Year' type sing-song in the bar with really auld
tunes. Won the Inaugaral Nick McLeod Indoor Putting competition by
sinking a 30m putt over a ramp, through an obstacle and into the beer
mug. Moved up the rankings in 2007 and is currently ranked 14 on the
tour order of merit.
|
|
Dave Cunningham
|
Handicap 20. He has two swings - a beautiful practice and a
choked-up one, with which he hits the ball. Without doubt the tallest
man to ever grace a golf course. Won the championship in 1998 at
Royal Tarlair with a marvellous 41 points. Generally seen as the
sensible one on the tour but has the unenviable task of looking after
The Hobbit/Crazy Frog. Big D slipped down the rankings having missed
the 2004 event and is currently ranked 15 on the tour.
|
|
John Murray
|
Handicap 35. Rookie year in 2001 at Strathmore. Claimed he was still
getting used to his new clubs, but he was just as shite with his old
ones. He is however a top class drinker who is always available to
give lessons. Rumoured to be getting fit at the health club, but he
is only there for 'perv' value. Experimented with a ladies handicap
for 2005 but it made no difference, scoring 21 points. Currently
ranked 16 on the tour.
|
|
Iain Ritchie
|
Handicap 14. The Millennium Champion winning at Fraserburgh. Enjoyed
a rich vain of form in 2000 by becoming club champion at Newburgh
G.C. and competing in the "Evening Express" sponsored
Champion of Champions tournament. He was knocked out in the first
round after refusing the services of his caddie. He relinquished the
title of being the Ian Baker-Finch of the tour, by becoming the
champion for the second time at Piperdam 2003, and has the record of
being the longest serving No.1 player - 3 years. However, he hit a
low point in 2005 when he entered the Rogues Gallery and the
Baker-Finch days are returning as he has now slumped to number 17 in
the tour order of merit.
|
|
Gary Wood
|
Handicap 5. Rookie year in 2007. Soon got into the swing of things -
10 minutes into the journey and the first beer was finished.
Continued at a steady pace throughout the weekend. On the day of the
5th Major, a damp day, he spent an extraordinary amout of money in
the club shop buying a waterproof jacket as he forgot to take the one
his wife bought him. Ann, if you're reading this, it cost him a
fortune. Entered the Rogues Gallery at the fiorst attempt when he
disgraced himself on the journey home. Fortunately he was alert
enough to dispose his bag of sick into the nearest waste bucket at
the station. Currently ranked 18 on the tour order of merit.
|
|
Bernie Duncan |
Handicap 28. Rookie year in 2005. Suffers from standing too close to
the ball after he has hit it. Broke into the top 20 in 2007 and is
ranked 19 on the tour.
|
|
Jim McCombie
|
Handicap 8. A great joiner and not a bad player. Has missed only one
event when he tried his luck on the Spanish Tour. He consistently
finishes in the top end of the leader board. Another scratch drinker
and a winner of the putting competition at Strathmore in 2001 and is
the undisputed champion of Buzz. It was once mentioned that he could
improve his chances of winning if he turned up sober. In 2004 he
finally turned up sober, winning the event with a new record
stableford score of 42. He is currently ranked number 20 on the tour.
|
|
Andy Buchan
|
Handicap 35. Certainly gets his moneys worth. Hasn't yet grasped the
concept that the lowest score is the winner. Doesn't really have a
handicap, it's more like a permanent disability. Continually
jockeying for position at the lower end of the rankings. Now in his
40's he is preparing for the seniors tour. Required new shoes after
being sick all over the ones he was wearing at the after match party
in 2003. Scored his highest stableford score at Piperdam 2003 but
blew it in 2004, equaling the lowest score of 14 points in 2004.
Experimented with a ladies handicap for 2005 but, like John Murray,
it made no difference, scoring 15 points. He is currently ranked
joint 21st on the tour.
|
|
Gavin Bain
|
Handicap 18. A rookie in 2004 and came in 4th place. He caused a
right stooshie with his golf handicap, but proved to be a good
genuine low handicap drinker. He is now unofficially the Tours' Legal
advisor. Currently ranked 22 on the tour after missing out the last
two events.
|
|
Niall Ritchie
|
Handicap 16. Made his debut in 2002 and was so keen to make a
challenge he bought a new set of Calloways. He later decided that he
was a better drinker than a golfer, but he is crap at Buzz. Took a
conscious decision to stay sober in 2005 to look after his brother
'Ritchie the Younger' - very wise...... Consistant performances
raised him to number 8 on the tour but having missed the last two
events has dropped to number 23.
|
|
Graham Moir
|
Handicap 5. A steady player who in his rookie year in 2004 made it
into the top ten. Was full of beans on the bus journey home and was
'gaun up the toon'. However, once back in Aberdeen, decided that a
taxi home was a better option. Currently ranked number 24 on the tour
after having a 'mare in 2005 and missing out in the last two years.
|
|
Derek Wood
|
Handicap . Rookie year in 2006 at Deer Park. Used his hockey ability
to great effect until the drink 'kicked in'. Missed out on the 2007
event due to some sort of wedding? Future invites have now to be sent
to his new wife. Currently ranked 25 on the order of merit.
|
|
Ian Dunsmuir
|
Handicap 21. If having the best gear available meant you could
succeed at this game then Ian would kick Tigers arse every time. Best
finish came in 1997 at Royal Tarlair when he finished 2nd. However,
don't be fooled by that lofty position, as 12 players walked in after
8 holes due to the inclement weather, and Ian scraped 2nd place on a
count-back. He once broke 90 and was so delighted that after a couple
of drams in the clubhouse to celebrate he forgot to play the back
nine. Holds the record for the lowest stableford score (14) and is
currently ranked 26 on the tour. Is in danger of losing his Tour Card.
|
|
Bob Gardiner
|
Handicap 15. Always trying to improve his game and has now
resorted to the Atkins diet method. However, like Mr Reilly, he tends
to follow the Aitkens diet. He is now known as 'Big Bob' due to
Bob Reilly actually being bigger! He'd consider giving up golf if he
didn't have so many sweaters. Missed out on the event since 2005 and
has slipped down the rankings and is currently ranked 27 on the tour.
Is in danger of losing his Tour Card.
|
|
Gary Phillips
|
Handicap 32. Holds the record for the highest Stableford score on one
hole during the Strathmore 2001 event. He scored five points at a par
4, the nearest we have had to a hole in one. Superb at hitting the
woods, but has great difficulty in getting out of them. Returned to
the tour in 2004 after missing out in 2003 due to injury but further
injury has prevented him from playing since. Currently ranked 28 in
the tour.
|
|
Alan Brown
|
Handicap 11. Winner in 1996 at the inaugural tournament at Keith G.C.
A high handicap drinker who should enrole in a couple of training
sessions with John Murray prior to attending the events. A steady
player who should have been at all the outings but injury and work
have prevented his quest for the double. An improved performance in
2003 saw his drinking handicap being slashed for 2004. Currently
ranked 29 in the tour having missed the last four events. Is in
danger of losing his Tour Card.
|
|
Andy Rose
|
Handicap 28. It is just as well he is an accountant. Adding up his
scorecard with a calculator would test the resilience of any Duracell
battery. Such is the state of his game, he can only improve. Played
by far his best tournament in 2003 but has since slipped to number 30
in the rankings after missing the last four events. and is in danger
of losing is Tour Card.
|
|
Cammy McLean
|
Handicap 23. Made his debut in 2000 amid controversy in his claimed
handicap. However, after a promising start we were left wondering if
23 was for the first 9 holes. Missed the Glenisla event due to a 'bad
back', but this excuse will not result in a handicap increase. A good
performance in 2003 shot him up the rankings to number 10 but since
emigrating to Baku, he has slipped to 31.
|
|
Craig Wiggins
|
Handicap 13. Fancies himself as a big hitting golfer. Always looks
the part, especially on the practice swing. He hits a mean ball, but
not always in the right direction. He used to go to the driving range
to practice driving without slicing, but now goes to practice slicing
without swearing. He has slipped out of the tour rankings after
missing all of the events since 2003 and is currently ranked at 32.
Is in danger of losing his Tour Card.
|
|
Dave Thain
|
Handicap 20. During a tour in Ireland, Dave set the record for the
shortest ever tee shot - 6 feet. At the same time he set the record
for the largest divot ever see from a tee area. His swing is so bad
he looks like a caveman killing his lunch. Missed the event in 2003
due to drunkeness and missed the 2004 event due to killing his
mothers cat. Emigrated to Australia and has now slipped out of the rankings.
|
|
Bruce Taylor
|
Handicap 26. The only man to play with Titleist shuttlecocks. Lack of
distance is blamed on "weak wrists" . Hard to believe as he
has the largest stash of mags/videos. He has retired from the
tour, initially through injury (strained ligaments in his wrist), and
has now slipped out of the rankings.
|
|
Sandy Skinner |
Handicap 23. He never set the heather alight in any of the outings.
Only has one problem - he stands too close to the ball after he's hit
it. Enjoys a good drink. Has retired from the event and has slipped
out of the rankings.
|
|
Jim Sinclair |
Handicap 14. A big hitter. He looks like his brother Phil, but he has
a bigger belly. Emigrated and now graces the Australian tour,
all-be-it the Pub Tour.
|
|
Shaun McCombie |
Handicap 9. His one and only 5th Major, making his debut in 2002 and
kept up the McCombie tradition of turning up 'steaming'. Fell out of
the taxi at the station and was sick in the gutter! Jim was so proud. |