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Phil Sinclair |
Handicap 3. The 'King of Culter' is a two-time winner of the Quaich
winning the prestigious trophy at Turriff in 1999 and again in 2006
at Deer Park. Widely recognised as the man to beat, he has supported
this tournament since its fruition in 1996. It was during this glory
period when he was at his peak, not only winning the Quaich but
adding three Peterculter Club Championships to his list of honours.
Tends to warm-up for the event in Southern Spain. Returned to the top
of the Order
of Merit in 2008. Has been ranked as number one
for 33% of the time since records began in 2000 ad maintained his
number 1 ranking in 2009.
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Rod Phillips |
Handicap 14. Scratch drinker. Started the outings in 1996 to
celebrate his 30th birthday and has the unenviable tag of "Best
player to have never won a major". Has consistently been in the
top 5 since 2003 and has climbed back to his current ranking of
number 2 on the tour.
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Steve McGrath
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Handicap 8. Another stalwart of the tour having a 100% attendance
record. With a bit more practice could become a scratch drinker. He
is also a major sponsor of the outing. Overall, not a bad guy, even
though he is a supporter of the Sons of Satan. Another nearly man
consistantly in the top 3, but has missed out on the coveted number 1
spot three times. Another who's form dipped when he became a father
falling to number 7 in the tour, but he managed to regain his form in
2008 and 2009. Following yet another 'nearly' year in 2009 he now
sits as number 3 in the Order
of Merit.
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Ian Trotter |
Handicap 26. Ian is the 2008 champion winning his first major with 32
points. Provided the tour with the shortest winning speech in memory
looking quite overawed that he had actually won! Ian holds the record
for the most nicknames - The Chief, The Duke, Larry (Shut That Door),
The Fairmer and curiously Sweet Cheeks???. The drunkest man at
Strathmore 2001. Has always wondered how he got back to his hotel
room. He once went for a lesson and the reason the golf pro told him
to keep his head down was so Ian couldn't see him laughing. Winner of
the 1st putting competition at Fraserburgh in 1999. He is also an
official member of The 5th Major Senior Tour. Had a great defence of
his title in 2009 moving up 4 places in the rankings to number 4 on
the tour.
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Bob Reilly |
Handicap 8. Made his first appearance at Fraserburgh in 2000 and was
one of the early favourites until the 1st tee. He has a wonderful
short game...unfortunately it is off the tee. Could have been a real
contender in seasons 2001 - 2006 if he'd followed the advice from
Scottish Slimmers, but he misread the advice and followed the
'Aitkens' diet. Known as 'Big Bob'. Has a habit of sharing the
contents of his stomach and is a 'scratch' spewer - he is the
original member of the Rogues Gallery. He achieved his ambition in
2007 by winning The Quaich at Kinross but had a poor defence at
Drumoig posting his lowest score of 22 points. Some believe that he
threw his game so that he would not have to buy the Drambuie. His son
Matthew finished above him on the 2009 leaderboard - it will
interesting to see how this affects him in 2010. Currently ranked
number 5 in the Order
of Merit.
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Gary Wood
|
Handicap 4. Rookie year in 2007. Soon got into the swing of things -
10 minutes into the journey and the first beer was finished.
Continued at a steady pace throughout the weekend. On the day of the
5th Major, a damp day, he spent an extraordinary amout of money in
the club shop buying a waterproof jacket as he forgot to take the one
his wife bought him. Ann, if you're reading this, it cost him a
fortune. Entered the Rogues Gallery at the first attempt when he
disgraced himself on the journey home. Fortunately he was alert
enough to dispose his bag of sick into the nearest waste bucket at
the station. If photographic proof was available he would have again
entered Rogues Gallery in 2009 as many believe he was the phantom
spewer. Climbed the rankings to number 6 on the tour Order
of Merit following a decent round in 2009.
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Nick McLeod |
Handicap 23. Another regular tour member who always looks the part
and talks a good game. Claims he does not like the game but has a
knack of performing well during the pressure of competition golf and
with a hangover. The best wood in his bag is still the pencil,
despite now weilding a 'Calloway' driver. Has a knack of claiming
that the last game he had was at the previous outing but he has now
been rumbled - he has joined Auchenblae Golf Club and plays on
average once/week. Organiser of the putting competition although he
did not organise the comedy putter for 2009. Remarkably he has
consistently been in the top 10 over the last seven years and
currently ranked at number 7 in the tour following an indifferent
round in 2009.
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Jim Wright
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Handicap 18. Rookie year in 2005. A commendable performance after
admitting to be overawed in the drinking prowess of the seasoned tour
members. Witnesses suggest that he wastes alot of great shots on the
practise swing. A top sponsor and supporter of the event and has
climbed up the rankings to number 8 in the Order
of Merit.
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Derek Wood
|
Handicap 13. Rookie year in 2006 at Deer Park. Used his hockey
ability to great effect until the drink 'kicked in'. Missed out on
the 2007 event due to some sort of wedding? Future invites have now
to be sent to his new wife. Returned to the tour in 2008 and played
consistently average. He is a top sponsor (or at least his boss is)
of the event. Hit a rich vein of form on the day of the 2009 event
and became champion with a score of 36 points. He is a very efficient
golfer that requires to do the minimum - he only played 14 holes in
2009 to win. He has climbed to number 9 on the Order
of Merit.
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Bernie Duncan |
Handicap 25. Rookie year in 2005. Suffers from standing too close to
the ball after he has hit it. Suffered in 2009 after losing the
services of his 'coach' - Rod Snr - and suffered a 27% loss of
performance from 2008. Broke into the top 10 in 2008 and is currently
ranked 10 on the tour.
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Nick Frost
|
Handicap 12. Rookie year in 2002 and Wee Frosty made a great
challenge for the trophy. Is using the Dunsmuir philosophy of 'buying
the best' to improve his game, which appears to be working.
Consistant player who has not finished out of the top three in the
last few years. He became the tours number 1 player in 2005 narrowly
missing out on the championship on a count-back. An enforced
extra-ordinary handicap committee meeting was held before the 2006
event to adjust this bandits' handicap! Entered the Rogues Gallery in
2006 but claimed it was Bobs fault that he spewed. Missed out on the
2008 event and slipped down the rankings. The expectant dip in form
following his marriage didn't materialise in 2009 and he has
consolidated his ranking to 11 in the Order
of Merit.
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Graeme Meade
|
Handicap 4. Rookie year in 2005 and what a debut. Became the champion
at the first attempt marginally winning on a countback. Has
maintained his form over the last two years and was the number one
player in 2007. Had a 'mare in 2009 and has tumbled down the rankings
to number 12 on the tour Order of Merit. This fall from grace was
compensated by winning £158.00 in the putting competition.
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John Murray
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Handicap 35. Rookie year in 2001 at Strathmore. Claimed he was still
getting used to his new clubs, but he was just as shite with his old
ones. He is however a top class drinker who is always available to
give lessons. Rumoured to be getting fit at the health club, but he
is only there for 'perv' value. Experimented with a ladies handicap
for 2005 and have continued with this ever since. It has made no
difference, scoring an average of 21 points over the last 4
outings. Remarkably he has climbed the rankings on each of the last
three events and is currently ranked 13 on the tour.
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Stuart Meade |
Handicap 9. Rookie year in 2008. Was seen as a good outside bet for
the title before the weekend started but the wheels came off the cart
during the Saturday night out when he was mixing it with the scratch
drinkers. As well as having a disappointing 5th Major, he also had a
disappointing effort in chatting up the bar staff. Improved in 2009
by nearly doubling his stableford score and has climbed to 14 on the
Order of Merit after two years. He is still a high handicapper when
it comes to drinking.
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Iain Sellar
|
Handicap 16. Hits a good ball for one so small and with broken knees.
The only man on the tour with a sawn off putter. The fashion police
have been after him for years. Also known on the tour as The Hobbit
or the Crazy Frog (particularly when he's had a few). A couple of
steady displays elevated him to his highest ranking of number 9, but
has resorted to type over the last couple of years. Suffered with the
putting competition when the belly putter, whcih was longer than Iain
is tall, was produced. After missing the 2008 event he slipped to
number 22 in the rankings but a steady performance in 2009 has seen
him climb seven places to 15 on the Order
of Merit. Another 'scratch' spewer and a member of
the Rogues Gallery.
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Gavin Bain
|
Handicap 18. A rookie in 2004 and came in 4th place. He caused a
right stooshie with his golf handicap, but proved to be a good
genuine low handicap drinker. Another major sponsor of the event and
he is now unofficially the Tours' Legal advisor. Scored a 'nett' hole
in one in the 2009 event at the par 3 fifth - this being the only
highlight of his round. Currently ranked 16 on the Order
of Merit.
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Dod Gray
|
Handicap 11. An ever present member of the tour, who is desperate to
win the trophy. If he hits the ball right, it's a slice. If it goes
left, it's a hook. If it goes straight, it's a miracle. He's the
outing treasurer - ie the kitty organiser in charge of maintaining
the stock of beer and nips in the clubhouse, and for the carry-out
for the journey home. Managed to avoid winning the inaugaral M &
S cup in 2009 by actually scoring points on the 17th and 18th holes
giving him a one point advantage over last position. He has slipped
to number 17 in the rankings after missing the 2008 event.
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Matthew Reilly |
Handicap 35. Had only played 2 rounds of golf before his rookie year
in 2009. Big Bobs number one son and must take after his mums side of
the family. He provided the highlight of the day by finishing higher
up the leaderboard than Bob - seeing Bobs reaction was priceless.
Enters the Order
of Merit at number 18.
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Roger Evans |
Handicap 14. Roger the Dodger / Welsh Wizard. There was not much
wizardry about his play in his rookie year in 2009 after he finished
in 11th place. After a steady outward 9 holes the wheels started to
come of the cart on the back 9. This coincided with the introduction
of Drambuie at the 10th hole. The boyo must have an odd-sized body as
a medium size 5th major polo shirt is too small but the large is too
big. He enters the Order
of Merit at number 19.
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Dod Laing |
Handicap 14. Rookie year in 2009 finishing in 15th place. Nephews
Graeme, Stuart and Phil tried to re-adjust his handicap to 10 but
leaving it at 14 made no difference to the business end of the
leaderboard. A low handicap drinker and tone deaf will endear him to
the 5th Major in future years. Enters the Order
of Merit at number 20.
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Rod Phillips Snr
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Handicap 9. Former number 1 player on the tour and the first
'Two-Time' Winner, triumphing at Royal Tarlair in 1997, during the
monsoon outing when only five players completed the round, and at
Glenisla in 2002. Some golfers fantasize about playing a three-ball
with Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus - there are times when he'd
rather play with Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder. He is now an official
member of The 5th Major Senior Tour. Unfortunately missed the 2009
event after gaining the only stroke that he wished he'd never had.
Now recovering with an aim to return to the event in 2010. Currently
ranked 21 on the Order
of Merit.
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Tony Kerr |
Handicap 18. Rookie year in 2009 and has the accolade of winning the
inaugaral M & S cup. He did however, 'forget' to fill the cup
with amber nectar that is Drambuie! He will have the chance to defend
the trophy next year. Enters the Order
of Merit at number 22.
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Andy Rose
|
Handicap 28. It is just as well he is an accountant. Adding up his
scorecard with a calculator would test the resilience of any Duracell
battery. Such is the state of his game, he can only improve. Played
by far his best tournament in 2003 but has since slipped to number 30
in the rankings after missing the four events. Returned to the event
in 2008 and was potentially a candidate for the Rogues Gallery
following a heavy session on the Saturday evening. Missed the 2009
event due to holiday committments and he is currently ranked 23 on
the tour.
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George Christie
|
Handicap 13. Rookie year in 2006 at Deer Park. Showed his age when he
graced the 'New Year' type sing-song in the bar with really auld
tunes. Won the Inaugaral Nick McLeod Indoor Putting competition by
sinking a 30m putt over a ramp, through an obstacle and into the beer
mug. Moved up the rankings in 2007 but he has slipped in the rankings
and is currently ranked 24 on the tour Order
of Merit after missing both the 2008 and 2009 events.
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Stewart McBain
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Handicap 6. Winner in his rookie year in 2001 at Strathmore Golf
Centre. He is still coming to terms with having to fill the Quaich
with Drambuie and watch everyone else drink the contents - it has
been suspected that he threw the tournament in 2002. Also known as
'Hubble' he was awarded a massive clothing sponsorship from Shore
Porters after winning in 2001. Another scratch drinker but a high
handicapper when it comes to style. Officially has now joined the
Seniors tour after reaching the ripe old age of 50. However he has
slipped down the rankings to number 25 after missing both the 2008
and 2009 events due to holidays.
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Iain Ritchie
|
Handicap 13. The Millennium Champion winning at Fraserburgh. Enjoyed
a rich vain of form in 2000 by becoming club champion at Newburgh
G.C. and competing in the "Evening Express" sponsored
Champion of Champions tournament. He was knocked out in the first
round after refusing the services of his caddie. He relinquished the
title of being the Ian Baker-Finch of the tour, by becoming the
champion for the second time at Piperdam 2003, and has the record of
being the longest serving No.1 player - 4 years. However, he hit a
low point in 2005 when he entered the Rogues Gallery and the
Baker-Finch days are returning as he has now slumped to number 26 in
the tour Order
of Merit after missing out on the 2007 and 2009 events.
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Dave Cunningham
|
Handicap 20. He has two swings - a beautiful practice and a
choked-up one, with which he hits the ball. Without doubt the tallest
man to ever grace a golf course. Won the championship in 1998 at
Royal Tarlair with a marvellous 41 points. Generally seen as the
sensible one on the tour but had the unenviable task of looking after
The Hobbit/Crazy Frog. Big D slipped down the rankings having missed
the 2008 event and is now temporarily retired from the 5th Major has
he has now re-located to Malaysia. Still ranked 27 on the tour.
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Andy Buchan
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Handicap 35. Certainly gets his moneys worth. Hasn't yet grasped the
concept that the lowest score is the winner. Doesn't really have a
handicap, it's more like a permanent disability. Continually
jockeying for position at the lower end of the rankings. Now in his
40's he is preparing for the seniors tour. Required new shoes after
being sick all over the ones he was wearing at the after match party
in 2003. Scored his highest stableford score at Piperdam 2003 but
blew it in 2004, equaling the lowest score of 14 points in 2004.
Experimented with a ladies handicap for 2005 but, like John Murray,
it made no difference, scoring 15 points. He won the 2008 'Fa's
Sharing We Bob' draw at the curry night but after hearing all the
stories he arranged a work trip to Houston and had to miss out on the
event - The lengths people go to........Missed out on the opportunity
to win the M & S cup in 2009 due to work committments and he is
currently ranked 28 on the tour.
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Jim McCombie
|
Handicap 8. A great joiner and not a bad player. Has missed the last
couple of events, missing 2008 when he was in Amsterdam with Stewart
after getting the dates wrong. He consistently finishes in the top
end of the leader board. Another scratch drinker and a winner of the
putting competition at Strathmore in 2001 and is the undisputed
champion of Buzz. It was once mentioned that he could improve his
chances of winning if he turned up sober. In 2004 he finally turned
up sober, winning the event with a new record stableford score of 42.
He is currently out of the tour rankings after not competing since 2006.
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Niall Ritchie
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Handicap 16. Made his debut in 2002 and was so keen to make a
challenge he bought a new set of Calloways. He later decided that he
was a better drinker than a golfer, but he is crap at Buzz. Took a
conscious decision to stay sober in 2005 to look after his brother
'Ritchie the Younger' - very wise...... Consistant performances
raised him to number 8 on the tour but having missed the last three
events has dropped out of the rankings.
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Graham Moir
|
Handicap 5. A steady player who in his rookie year in 2004 made it
into the top ten. Was full of beans on the bus journey home and was
'gaun up the toon'. However, once back in Aberdeen, decided that a
taxi home was a better option. Currently has dropped out of the
rankings after having a 'mare in 2005 and missing out in the last
three years.
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Ian Dunsmuir
|
Handicap 21. If having the best gear available meant you could
succeed at this game then Ian would kick Tigers arse every time. Best
finish came in 1997 at Royal Tarlair when he finished 2nd. However,
don't be fooled by that lofty position, as 12 players walked in after
8 holes due to the inclement weather, and Ian scraped 2nd place on a
count-back. He once broke 90 and was so delighted that after a couple
of drams in the clubhouse to celebrate he forgot to play the back
nine. Holds the record for the lowest stableford score (14) and has
has dropped out of the rankings. Is in danger of losing his Tour Card.
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Gary Phillips
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Handicap 32. Holds the record for the highest Stableford score on one
hole during the Strathmore 2001 event. He scored five points at a par
4, the nearest we have had to a hole in one. Superb at hitting the
woods, but has great difficulty in getting out of them. Returned to
the tour in 2004 after missing out in 2003 due to injury but further
injury has prevented him from playing since and has dropped out of
the rankings.
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Bob Gardiner
|
Handicap 15. Always trying to improve his game and has now
resorted to the Atkins diet method. However, like Mr Reilly, he tends
to follow the Aitkens diet. He is now known as 'Big Bob' due to
Bob Reilly actually being bigger! He'd consider giving up golf if he
didn't have so many sweaters. Missed out on the event since 2005 and
has dropped out of the rankings. Is in danger of losing his Tour Card.
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Alan Brown
|
Handicap 11. Winner in 1996 at the inaugural tournament at Keith G.C.
A high handicap drinker who should enrole in a couple of training
sessions with John Murray prior to attending the events. A steady
player who should have been at all the outings but injury and work
have prevented his quest for the double. An improved performance in
2003 saw his drinking handicap being slashed for 2004. Has dropped
out of the rankings having missed the last five events. Is in danger
of losing his Tour Card.
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Cammy McLean
|
Handicap 23. Made his debut in 2000 amid controversy in his claimed
handicap. However, after a promising start we were left wondering if
23 was for the first 9 holes. Missed the Glenisla event due to a 'bad
back', but this excuse will not result in a handicap increase. A good
performance in 2003 shot him up the rankings to number 10 but since
emigrating to Baku, he has dropped out of the rankings.
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Craig Wiggins
|
Handicap 13. Fancies himself as a big hitting golfer. Always looks
the part, especially on the practice swing. He hits a mean ball, but
not always in the right direction. He used to go to the driving range
to practice driving without slicing, but now goes to practice slicing
without swearing. He has slipped out of the tour rankings after
missing all of the events since 2003 and is in danger of losing
his Tour Card.
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Dave Thain
|
Handicap 20. During a tour in Ireland, Dave set the record for the
shortest ever tee shot - 6 feet. At the same time he set the record
for the largest divot ever see from a tee area. His swing is so bad
he looks like a caveman killing his lunch. Missed the event in 2003
due to drunkeness and missed the 2004 event due to killing his
mothers cat. Emigrated to Australia and has now slipped out of the rankings.
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Bruce Taylor
|
Handicap 26. The only man to play with Titleist shuttlecocks. Lack of
distance is blamed on "weak wrists" . Hard to believe as he
has the largest stash of porn mags/videos. He has retired from the
tour, initially through injury (strained ligaments in his wrist), and
has now slipped out of the rankings.
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Sandy Skinner |
Handicap 23. He never set the heather alight in any of the outings.
Only has one problem - he stands too close to the ball after he's hit
it. Enjoys a good drink. Has retired from the event and has slipped
out of the rankings.
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Jim Sinclair |
Handicap 14. A big hitter. He looks like his brother Phil, but he has
a bigger belly. Emigrated and now graces the Australian tour,
all-be-it the Pub Tour.
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Shaun McCombie |
Handicap 9. His one and only 5th Major, making his debut in 2002,
kept up the McCombie tradition of turning up 'steaming'. Fell out of
the taxi at the station and was sick in the gutter! Jim was so proud. |